Episode Four: Checklist of Chaos
As Zorah and Timothy prepare for the first day of seventh grade across town, Constance Lawson is ready to claim her rightful place at the top of the class. Little does she know that no amount of planning or perfectionism can shield her from the changes that this day is about to bring into her life. Ever since her spark first arrived before me in the Dreamtenders' Grove, I knew that Constance was destined for great things. Her drive, her determination, her sheer will to succeed and flourish are all attributes that point to a child far wiser than her 12 years of age would suggest. But beneath the veneer of perfection, she carries great doubt and uncertainty.
Percival:All too often, expectations and situations outside of their control are placed upon the backs of children who must struggle as they learn how to adapt to the world around them. Some lash out with their emotions. Others quietly shut down. There are those who allow themselves to be swept up in the uncertainty of the tides of life. And then there are those like Constance, those who do everything in their power to enforce order and normalcy onto the ever shifting chaos of life.
Percival:What Constance does not yet realize is that sometimes there are forces at work that refuse to be controlled, but she will soon come to learn this firsthand.
Percival:Episode Four: Checklist of Chaos
Constance:My morning began, as any sane person's would, by double checking that all 13 pages of the Student Responsibility and Behavior Guidelines were properly laminated and color coded in my three ring binder. I spent hours going through and highlighting all the appropriate sections in colored highlighter, and I wanted to make sure that, before ever stepping foot inside the school, that everything was in order. The other kids would be blissfully ignoring the entire document from the first bell. But not me. Making sure my binder was in order was action item number one on my daily checklist.
Constance:And now it was on to items 2 through twenty-five. It was only 6:30, so I had plenty of time. I made sure of that. Nothing worse than a checklist to complete in the middle of a time crunch. Action item numbers 2 through ten were simple things that could be completed and double checked in only a few minutes.
Constance:I first alphabetized them, then arranged them by area of the house so there wasn't any wasted movement. By the time it was 06:45, I only had ten items left on my list. Today was going exactly according to plan. Nothing could stop me now. At 06:47, a loud thunk came from downstairs.
Constance:Oh no, not again. I rushed down the stairs to discover my worst nightmare. That idiot repairman hadn't fixed the dishwasher because it was thunking its way into filling the kitchen with a soapy last night's dinner-y flood of water across the floor. I clutched the list tight against my chest, praying that it would keep my heart from thumping out and sloshing around with the dinner water. I knew that repairman was no good.
Constance:He arrived thirty seven minutes and forty seconds late to begin with and didn't even bother asking questions about what went wrong in the first place. He then spent 35 minutes and 12 seconds playing with different wrenches tucked into his big stupid belt and occasionally smacking one around inside the dishwasher so it sounded like he was doing something. I told mom to call the appliance store and file a complaint, but she insisted that dad was taking care of it, as though that somehow resolved the issue. This is absolutely not the way the first day of seventh grade was supposed to start. We were successfully through action items number 1 through 15.
Constance:The last ten were going to be a breeze. And now I grabbed my razor sharp number two pencil and added a checkbox to the end of the list. Ugh. 26 looks so haphazard and sloppy. We could have kept today's list to a nice, neat 25, but no.
Constance:26 it is. Action item number 26, mop the floor. I would worry later about mapping out number 27. Hint, it involves a sternly written letter. I glanced up at the clock above the microwave as I rushed to cobble together the mop and bucket.
Constance:6:55. Okay. Good. That meant that dad would be downstairs for his morning coffee any second now. There are few things that dad takes more seriously than his 6:55 coffee.
Constance:He told me I'd understand once I'm older. I get it, though. If I don't do my nightly 7:55 morning checklist, I get grumpy too. As I frantically but methodically mopped up the kitchen, I noticed that dad hadn't come down. My dad senses instantly perked up.
Constance:Where was he? What extraterrestrial creature had beamed down to earth and swapped bodies with my coffee addicted, extremely punctual Father? Something was wrong.
Paula:Good morning, sweetheart,
Constance:Mom said from the kitchen entryway. She sighed as she saw the dishwasher tsunami.
Paula:I'm so sorry. I really thought they'd fix that stupid thing this time.
Constance:Oh, it's fine, mom, I said, ankle deep in soggy chicken tenders. Later, I would remind her about the fact that this repairman had terrible Yelp reviews, but gently and only after the crisis passed. Mom, where is Dad? I could really use his help and he's 4 minutes late for his coffee at this point. I gave serious thought to calling the police.
Constance:Mom looked down at the floor, shuffling her feet as she brushed back her hair.
Paula:Dad had to leave for that business trip, remember?
Constance:If I remembered correctly, and I usually do, dad wasn't supposed to be gone on business again. He had already been on three trips in the last month, and that never happens. But he did say that his firm was extra busy this season and that he would have to be gone a lot more. I guess that's a good thing then. Right?
Constance:Oh, right. Sorry. I forgot. I lied as I wrung out another mop full of watered down barbecue sauce. Mom had that, I'm really tired and worn out and everything is going wrong, but I'll stay here and help if you really need me, look about her.
Constance:I'd grown used to it lately. She had always been so strong and sure of herself. Now, it hurt to see her walking around looking like she was trying to avoid landmines. Once Dad's work calmed down, everything would be back to normal. I didn't even need a rules and regulations manual to tell me that much was true.
Constance:Don't worry about me, Mom, I said, trying to sound sure of myself. I got this. Look, it's almost cleaned up already.
Paula:Thanks, sweetheart,
Constance:Mom said, then paused as she started to walk away.
Paula:You know that I love you more than anything, right?
Constance:I stood up straight and let the mop lean against the kitchen island. Yes, Mom, of course I do, I said, and I did. Good. She smiled at me with a slight quiver on her lip. That's good.
Constance:She rushed up the stairs without looking back. A second later, I heard a sniffle coming from Mom and Dad's room. Before grabbing the mop to finish, I grabbed my trusty number two and clipboard. The list clearly was missing something, and I knew exactly what it was. Action item number 27, cheer up, mom.
Constance:Something told me it was going to take a lot more than the last 23 minutes I had before getting on the bus to check this one off the list, but that's a problem for later Constance. Present Constance has a seventh grade classroom to conquer. Back to it. Action item number 11, delicately pack pristine apples for each of my new teachers.
Percival:Constance continues through her morning convinced that solving her mother's mysterious sadness is a mere checkbox on an ever growing checklist. She will soon face the reality that there are some boxes whose problems cannot be solved with a checkmark. But first, she ventures into the unknown as the beginning of a new school year awaits. Elsewhere in town, as Zorah, Timothy, and Constance journey to school, another boy awakens and prepares for a day that will change everything forever.
Announcer:Thank you for listening.
Announcer:If you'd like to support the show and help bring the story to life, please consider joining us on Patreon at patreon.com/epicbedheadsaga. Patrons receive episodes one week early and exclusive behind the scenes content. You can also find us at epicbedheadsaga.com and on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook. And if you're enjoying the show, please follow us on your podcast app of choice. It helps more than you know.
Announcer:The Epic Bedhead Saga is written, produced, and directed by Tyler Michael Jonsson. Episode four features Tyler Michael Jonsson as Percival and Erin Culpepper as Constance Lawson and Constance's mom. This episode was made possible with the support of our Dreamtender tier patrons, Nancy and Grant Jonsson. We'll see you next time. Until then, keep dreaming.
