Episode Eleven: Not What I Signed Up For
As far as Garren was concerned, the first day of school had contained enough weirdness to fill the quota for the entire year. Now the second day was beginning just as oddly as the first. Yesterday, Zorah and Timmy couldn't stop talking about the strange nuts they found tangled in their hair when they woke up. And now they were so deep in secret hallway conversation that they completely missed the morning bell. Just what had he gotten himself into with this group, Garren thought.
Percival:What new and advanced form of weird nonsense would happen next, he wondered. Knowing Garren as well as I do, I could practically feel the frustration from here all the way up in the Dreamtenders' Grove. Little did Garren realize just then how weird things were about to get. But ready or not, he would soon find out.
Percival:Episode Eleven: Not What I Signed Up For.
Garren:I couldn't decide what was worse, watching Constance herd Zorah and Timmy into class like stray sheep, or knowing that Dad would be waiting after school to drag me to PONY tryouts. I'd spent the whole morning obsessing over tryouts and nearly forgot this ridiculous group project even existed. Something weird was going on with Zorah and Timmy, and I'm not just talking about that top secret hallway conversation they were having like class didn't even exist. I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened yesterday with Zorah and Timmy and their matching hair nuts. Now they were having secret conversations out by the lockers during class.
Garren:Yeah, something weird was definitely up. Question was, did I care enough to try to figure out what it was? My hands were going to be full enough today just trying to get through group project time without Constance driving me insane. Judging by how much she enjoyed embarrassing poor Zorah and Timmy in front of everyone, she was in rare form today, like a pitcher throwing a no hitter. The best option was to try to keep the peace between the group and attempt to get a sense of whatever this weirdness was.
Garren:The more I thought about that, the less I had to worry about what was coming after school. Bring on the weird, I thought. Mrs. McDermott waited patiently until the other three members of my team were in their seats with a grin on her face, like she wanted to say something about it, but decided to just make a weird face instead.
Mrs. McDermott:Alrighty, kiddos. Now that we're all here...
Garren:Giggles went up around the room.
Mrs. McDermott:It's time to get started for the day. We'll be using half the period for group project time, so go ahead and get into your groups. I overheard some very exciting ideas being discussed yesterday, so keep it up.
Garren:Desks rumbled and chairs squeaked across the floor as everyone moved into their group positions. I rolled my eyes, picked up my desk, and dropped it in place by the chalkboard. Unsurprisingly, Constance beat us all to the punch. She had four clipboards laid out in front of her. Her hands were gently folded like she was praying to the gods of productivity and order.
Garren:Zorah finished scooting her desk into place and plopped down into her seat. Her cheeks were still bright red after the hallway incident. She reached into her backpack and pulled out her binder and a journal she didn't have yesterday. Not that I was snooping or anything, but the cover read Zorah's Dream Archive. Oh no, it was spreading.
Garren:Zorah caught me staring at her new book. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head once, fast enough for Constance not to notice. The whole thing gave "Garren, leave it alone" vibes, so I did. That left the last member of our merry little band. Timmy settled into his seat like this was the most important meeting of his life.
Garren:He immediately pulled out his massive Dream Archive book as if it were a holy relic. He opened to a page about halfway through and nodded while it told him a deep, dark secret about the mysteries of the universe or something. I'm not going to pretend I understand how his brain works. Constance grabbed the clipboards that were fanned out on her desk.
Constance:I've taken the liberty of preparing a Daily Group Project Worksheet for each of us to follow,
Garren:she said as she pointed dramatically to the middle section of one of the clipboards.
Constance:This way we can make sure we're hitting our daily productivity goals. Each of us will have a daily allotment of time to address the group. It's all very standard, just to make sure we don't misuse our time.
Garren:She placed the clipboards gently into each of our hands as some sort of divine ritual to the organization gods we had to complete before our work could begin.
Constance:We will rotate daily who gets to address the group first to ensure a fair group dynamic,
Garren:she announced. According to the worksheet, today was Zorah's day to speak first. Lucky her.
Constance:Zorah,
Garren:Constance said with confident authority.
Constance:The floor is yours.
Garren:Constance performed a dramatic flourish as she checked the box next to the item labeled "Speaker One: Zorah." She fixed her eyes on Zorah. Zorah stared back. Constance tapped her pencil on the clipboard. If I were in Zorah's place, I wouldn't be taking directions from Constance either after that display.
Garren:First you embarrass me, now you're bossing me around. I'd have dropped my clipboard on the ground to make a point. But Zorah wasn't me. It was only after Constance cleared her throat dramatically that Zorah finally took the hint. Subtlety isn't exactly Constance's thing.
Zorah:Right. Yeah. So...
Garren:Zorah shuffled through the first couple pages of her Dream Archive.
Zorah:Yesterday before the bus, I was talking with Timmy. He had a really good idea, I thought, for the project. Since our project is about dreams, he suggested that I start doing my own Dream Archive like he does.
Garren:Zorah gestured to Timmy who nodded his head enthusiastically.
Zorah:So I tried it last night and it actually helped me, like a lot.
Garren:Constance said nothing, so Zorah kept going.
Zorah:I know it sounds like a weird idea, like honestly I thought the same thing. But last night was the first night maybe ever that I truly focused on my dreams. And when I woke up, I was able to write all sorts of, like, stuff down about them. Stuff that might actually... I don't know, somehow help with the project?
Garren:Her nervousness caused her to ramble, but in its own way, the dream thing started to make sense. Weird? For sure. But did it also make sense? Somehow, also yeah.
Garren:Constance looked very pleased with herself for giving Zorah her time to speak.
Constance:Thank you for that, Zorah,
Garren:she said, checking off another box.
Constance:Garren, you have the floor next.
Garren:What was the play here? Constance pretended like Zorah hadn't said anything important and wanted to move on from the subject. That didn't feel right. An itch in the back of my mind, that athlete's instinct that Dad is always going on about said to follow my gut. So I followed it.
Garren:The desperate look in Zorah's eyes said we should really listen to her idea, but she said nothing. Maybe after the hallway thing she just didn't have any fight left in her. I get that. I did what any real team leader would do: I stood up for my teammate.
Garren:Well, I actually want to go back to what Zorah was talking about.
Garren:A light returned to Zorah's eyes.
Garren:We are doing our project on dreams, right? Everyone in the group should keep a journal or whatever works so that we have more information for the project. I don't know about you guys, but my dreams always fade away after I wake up. I've never written them down before.
Garren:I only remember a few small specific things about dreams I've had in the past. Maybe if I had a Dream Archive or whatever, I'd actually have something meaningful to say during group time.
Garren:Constance adjusted her hair clip with a shaky hand. Clearly, this was not going according to her fully bullet pointed plan.
Constance:This is why I was against doing our project on dreams in the first place,
Garren:she finally said.
Constance:This project is supposed to be about something important, not about a bunch of random nonsense that flashes across our brains while we sleep.
Timmy:What we dream about isn't just random nonsense,
Garren:Timmy said suddenly, staring down at his desk.
Timmy:Not if you actually pay attention.
Garren:Constance's frustration grew by the second. She rolled her eyes like she pretended not to care, but the white knuckle grip on her clipboard said otherwise. She was gonna snap that thing in half if she wasn't careful.
Constance:Great.
Garren:Constance sighed.
Constance:Instead of presenting something meaningful to Mrs. McDermott, my semester long project is just going to be about the mechanical owl that talks to me in my sleep?
Garren:Constance slapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide with horror. She grabbed one of her many pencils with her other hand and pretended to check something off her worksheet. Three things happened all at once. Zorah dropped her clipboard. I didn't move a muscle, convinced that the tiniest movement might shatter existence itself.
Garren:Timmy tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows like he didn't understand why Constance looked so afraid.
Timmy:His name is Codex, isn't it?
Garren:Timmy gently asked. Constance froze.
Constance:What did you just say?
Garren:Her voice cracked. I'd never seen eyes filled with such pure panic before. Timmy retrieved a chunk of bronze from his pocket. By its curved shape, it had belonged to something bigger, like one of those action figures you had to collect all the parts of and put together yourself. I could just barely make it out, but the word Codex was inscribed into the metal.
Garren:He held it out to her. Constance gasped. She grabbed her backpack and yanked out her pencil pouch, unzipped it, and dumped everything onto her desk. In the middle of the pile of pencils, erasers, and colored highlighters was another piece of that same bronze metal. She picked up her piece with shaky fingers and slowly raised it towards Timmy's piece.
Garren:The two pieces vibrated and shook the closer they got to each other. They moved closer and closer until... They clicked together perfectly like a magnet, forming an awesome metallic bird feather.
Constance:Timmy,
Garren:Constance said, barely even a whisper.
Constance:This was tangled in my hair when I woke up.
Garren:Timmy smiled and nodded.
Timmy:I know.
Garren:for the first time, maybe in her whole life, Constance was completely speechless. Suddenly, like she was a stealth fighter jet, Mrs. McDermott zoomed in.
Mrs. McDermott:Hello there, Group Two. How is everything in Dreamland? Oh, I see we've got some arts and crafts happening over here.
Garren:She eyeballed the bronze feather and fluttered her fingers around like she was casting a spell.
Zorah:Good.
Garren:Zorah blurted out.
Zorah:Awesome. Yeah. You know, just talking about dreams, dreaming. You know how dreams are.
Garren:Constance stuffed the metal feather into her pencil pouch without taking her eyes off Mrs. McDermott. She flashed a smile that screamed panic, and I don't think she had blinked since Timmy had said Codex. Mrs. McDermott had a look on her face like she knew we were up to no good, but couldn't prove it.
Mrs. McDermott:Well, okay then.
Garren:I guess she had bigger things to worry about. Evan's group probably.
Mrs. McDermott:Just remember, we only have limited time. We need to be getting some actual work done on our projects.
Constance:Yes, of course, Mrs. McDermott. We will.
Garren:If Constance wasn't careful, her panic smile would break her jaw. As I suspected, Mrs. McDermott walked over to Evan's desk and snatched a spit wad shooter out of his hand. I leaned in to avoid being overheard.
Garren:Can someone please explain what just happened? Because I am totally lost.
Garren:Constance didn't answer, and instead just stared at her pencil case. With shaking hands, she slowly removed the bronze feather from her pouch and set it down in front of her. If I hadn't been watching, I wouldn't have caught her tiny head nod at Timmy. Timmy studied the feather carefully.
Garren:While the rest of us marveled at it like it was some kind of long lost pirate treasure, to Timmy, it was apparently as normal as an old pencil eraser. Constance Lawson no longer ran the show. She wasn't correcting anyone, assigning worksheets, or highlighting sections of the school rules. She was just sitting there, letting Timmy Jorgensen of all people examine this weird metal bird feather they somehow both had pieces of that apparently just appeared in their hair this morning. It made no sense, none of it, and yet I couldn't shake the feeling that this moment mattered.
Garren:Timmy gently picked up the feather. He turned it over and examined it from every angle, sticking his tongue out as he worked. I'd have sworn up and down that I was imagining it, but after a few seconds, the feather undeniably started to glow. Dim at first, really faint, but Timmy's careful touch must have tapped into some mystery energy inside. Before long, the entire feather pulsed with a steady yellow light.
Garren:Constance still hadn't moved, but her eyes widened to the size of baseballs. I was expecting Zorah to also be freaked out, but instead she watched Timmy with pride. Could this have anything to do with that hallway conversation from earlier? I don't know what I was feeling. Everything was just so weird, but no one could deny that it was happening.
Garren:Should I say something? Do something? All I truly knew was that I was now fully a part of it. Timmy finished examining the glowing feather and set it down. Instead of completely letting go, he took his pointer finger and touched a spot near the middle.
Garren:The glowing stopped once the clicking did, and the feather separated into four unique pieces.
Timmy:Four Sleepifacts for four
Timmy:Archivers,
Garren:Timmy announced. Constance finally broke out of her trance with a little shiver.
Constance:Four what, for what?
Timmy:Sleepifacts. It's a name I came up with for the magical dream things we've been finding. You know, like sleep artifacts. Sleepifacts!
Garren:Timmy raised his arms.
Zorah:Oh, yeah, I guess I should have said something earlier.
Garren:Zorah chimed in.
Zorah:When Timmy helped me decide to keep a Dream Archive, we thought that The Archivers could be a cool name for the group, you know, like a superhero team.
Garren:In less than two hours, I had gone from being stressed out about baseball tryouts to being the fourth member of a superhero team. Life comes at you fast. Constance frantically searched through her binder, trying to determine which of her daily productivity goals applied to cataloging dream artifacts.
Constance:I... I don't, but.
Garren:She couldn't come up with anything to say.
Timmy:It's okay, Constance,
Garren:said Timmy calmly.
Timmy:I know that this seems really scary, but I know that Hushglow, Filbert, and Codex would only send us these things for a very important reason. They need us to be a team. They need The Archivers.
Garren:Wait, who is Filbert? Was there a new kid in class I didn't know about? Zorah answered that one.
Zorah:Filbert's my... dream friend. Like Hushglow or Codex, I guess, sort of.
Garren:She tried to smile. It didn't go well.
Garren:Let me get this straight, I said, holding up my hand with my elbow on the table. Each of you has a magical dream friend, and they're sending us mechanical bird feathers?
Timmy:Magical dream best friend,
Garren:Timmy corrected.
Garren:Right. My face fell into my palm. I wanted to admit something. This would have been the perfect opportunity, but no, not now, not yet. Constance cleared her throat.
Garren:I knew that sound. That was the royal decree of Queen Constance, announcing she once again ruled the land. Timmy, she said, looking him dead in the eyes. He didn't like that because he turned his eyes down to the feather.
Constance:Do you think you could help me start my own Dream Archive like you helped Zorah?
Garren:Whoa. Timmy turned his head enough her way and nodded. His joy was undeniable.
Zorah:What about you, Garren?
Garren:Zorah asked.
Zorah:Are you in?
Garren:I glanced around the table. Zorah was hopeful. Timmy, smiling.
Garren:Constance, broken in the best way. There were four bronze bird feather pieces. Sorry, four Sleepifacts. Time to trust my instincts again. Sure, why not? I said.
Garren:Archivers, Assemble.
Garren:Zorah giggled. At least one of them got the joke. Timmy pushed the four bronze feather pieces to the center of the table.
Timmy:One for each of us,
Garren:he said softly.
Timmy:I think they're telling us that we are ready.
Garren:We each grabbed one, even Constance. No big ceremony or fancy speech, just four kids, dividing a magical bird feather like a bag of Skittles.
Timmy:Tonight, when you go to bed, put your feather piece on your pillow.
Garren:A deep growling noise rose from Constance like she was a cat choking on a hairball.
Zorah:Constance, please, just trust him.
Garren:Zorah said. Constance closed her eyes. Her shoulders rose and fell as she took a deep breath. As she opened her eyes, she nodded.
Constance:Okay, I trust you.
Garren:She said. Timmy smiled. In all the craziness, I almost forgot that I was still supposed to have tryouts after school. But right now, baseball felt a whole lot smaller than it had before. I don't think even the great John Wooden had an inspirational quote for this one.
Percival:I watched with pride as four young children, or should I say, as The Archivers, took their first step as a team into the unknown. Zorah and Timothy had not intended to reveal anything about their successful dream experiment to Garren and Constance quite yet, but fate, it seems, had other plans. It needed The Archivers to, yes, assemble. Perhaps the four of them truly were destined to explore the previously unknowable realm of our dreams. Perhaps Zorah would get to don a superhero costume after all.
Percival:And maybe, just maybe, they were now on a path that would lead them to a grand destiny none of them could have possibly imagined. The answers to all of their questions, all of their doubts, and all of their fears would be answered later that night as they placed the pieces of metallic feather on their pillows. But before he could blindly jump headfirst into the unknown, Garren had another equally important matter to attend to this evening, baseball tryouts.
Announcer:Thank you for listening. If you'd like to support the show and help bring the story to life, please consider joining us on Patreon at patreon.com/epicbedheadsaga.
Announcer:Patrons receive episodes one week early and exclusive behind the scenes content. You can also find us at epicbedheadsaga.com and on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook. And if you're enjoying the show, please follow us on your podcast app of choice. It helps more than you know. The Epic Bedhead Saga is written, produced, and directed by Tyler Michael Jonsson.
Announcer:Episode Eleven features Tyler Michael Jonsson as Percival, Timmy, and Garren, Tiffany Ward as Zorah, Erin Culpepper as Constance, and Lisa Jonsson as Mrs. McDermott. This episode was made possible with the support of our Dreamtender tier patrons, Nancy and Grant Jonsson. We'll see you next time. Until then, keep dreaming.
